This is a big, juicy, and challenging topic, but it's crucial for our health. Alcohol is something many people, including my clients and myself, have struggled with in various ways. I believe it's important for everyone to assess their relationship with alcohol and, if needed, consult a healthcare professional for a second opinion or support.
For me, growing up, alcohol was very much a forbidden fruit, which piqued my curiosity during my early teenage years. I wondered what made this drink so special that only adults were allowed to consume it. This curiosity led me to engage in unhealthy drinking habits—sneaking sips of hard liquor straight from the bottle, sampling various spirits so my parents wouldn’t notice a large amount missing, and drinking quickly to avoid getting caught. As you can imagine, this did not lead to great outcomes; I would often become intoxicated very quickly, sometimes too much so.
Unfortunately, in Western society, my story is all too common. Many of us started drinking in unhealthy ways, which often carried over into adulthood. Binge drinking and excessive alcohol consumption are pervasive in many environments, including college, university, and even in certain professions. Alcohol is all around us—at dinners, on patios, during dates, at sporting events, concerts, parties, work functions, and even post-sports activities like golf. The media constantly portrays people using alcohol in important meetings or after work to "take the edge off." It's no wonder so many people drink too much. But here's a tricky question: What is "too much"? I've had many arguments over this with an ex who had a very different opinion on what constituted moderation. Even our counselor struggled to define it clearly. It seems that, as long as you can function, hold down a job, and maintain a certain level of life, you can go along without raising too many eyebrows.
**What Defines an Alcoholic?**
Definition 1) Alcohol use disorder (sometimes called alcoholism) is a common medical condition. In this disorder, people can't stop drinking, even when it negatively affects their health, puts their safety at risk, and damages their personal relationships. Treatment often includes medication and behavioral therapy.
Definition 2) Alcoholism is defined as the continued consumption of alcohol despite it causing problems. Some definitions require evidence of dependence and withdrawal symptoms.
When you consider these two definitions, it's no wonder there's so much confusion about this topic. By the first definition, anyone who drinks has this disorder because even one drink affects our health negatively, and many of us continue to drink despite knowing the risks. By the second definition, most people—including myself—continue to drink despite knowing the health risks.
In my experience, most people associate an alcoholic with someone who wakes up needing a drink, experiences withdrawal, and whose life is spinning out of control.
**Is Alcohol Ever Good for Us?**
There has long been debate, research, and conflicting studies on whether alcohol has any health benefits. In recent years, evidence has increasingly shown that no amount of alcohol is good for our bodies. It is a toxin, it kills brain cells, it’s hard on our liver, it negatively affects our sleep, it is a depressant, and it adds extra sugar and empty calories—just to name a few drawbacks. Another major downside that people don't often consider is the time we lose to drinking, as the next day, or even several days after, are often spent recovering on the sofa. Considering all this, it’s a wonder why we engage with alcohol at all.
While I believe these negative effects on our health to be true, I also recognize that this perspective looks at alcohol through an isolated lens of its impact on our bodies. If we look at it holistically, I do think alcohol can have some benefits, which helps explain why we take these risks with our health. Alcohol can bring people together; it can be social, and as we know, it can serve as a social lubricant. Have you ever noticed how people talk about their problems more readily and openly when consuming alcohol? If I'm being honest, I’ve had some of the best times in my life while drinking.
This then raises the question: Can we be social and have fun without alcohol, and should we? I think the answer is, of course, yes. I believe we could all benefit from experimenting with this more. I know that in certain settings, drinking can become a default behavior. However, if we step out of habit, we can ask ourselves, "Do I need to drink right now?" and "Can I experiment with going to this party, event, or gathering without drinking?"
**Assessing Alcohol’s Role in Your Life**
When working with my clients, rather than looking for a specific label, I encourage them to explore what role alcohol plays in their lives. I believe it’s about taking an honest inventory on a personal level. Assess what’s good about consuming alcohol, what’s bad, and then make decisions about what place alcohol will have in your life going forward. It’s important to consider a few things on this journey, such as what constitutes "too much" for you—per session, per week—what is acceptable, and what behaviors are associated with drinking (e.g., staying up too late, not sleeping well, eating more, arguing with partners, etc.).
It’s clear there are drawbacks to consuming alcohol. I often find that the barrier to cutting back or quitting altogether is the belief that alcohol is a ticket to fun and stress relief. Many adults I work with don’t have enough joy in their lives and are often highly stressed. Therefore, I understand the hesitation in considering consuming less or not drinking at all. However, most people haven’t tried to cultivate sober ways of having fun and being social. Likewise, many people aren’t managing their stress with healthy coping mechanisms. Alcohol seems like a quick and easy way to have fun or reduce stress, requiring little thought and the simple action of opening a bottle. This is why it’s crucial to think about these things ahead of time. I recommend creating two lists: one for joy and social time that you schedule regularly, and another for stress management, including some methods that are easy to access and feel immediate. This way, when you feel the urge to take the edge off, instead of reaching into the liquor cabinet, you can look to your list and find a stress-relieving method that fits the bill. On my list, I have things like taking a bath, dancing to music, listening to music, screaming into a pillow (yes, really!), walking in nature, deep breathing, meditation, reading, calling a friend, running, boxing, and watching nature shows.
**The "Think Drinking, Think Ahead" Method**
One method I like, practice, and recommend is the "Think Drinking, Think Ahead" approach. This involves thinking ahead to an event, night out, vacation, etc., and asking yourself how you want to feel the next day. From there, make a plan for how many drinks you can consume to feel that way. Maybe it’s one, two, or maybe it’s none, or five —I don’t care how I feel the next day, I’m going for it! This approach helps prevent falling into social situations and overconsuming when you really didn’t want to. It’s very easy to get caught up in socializing, having fun, matching someone else’s drinking pace, and mindlessly consuming much more than is healthy or than you intended if you don’t set a standard ahead of time.
I also love to take a clean break from alcohol, just like I do with sugar, for a month or so. This helps me cultivate restoration in my body while also filling my time with activities that don’t involve drinking. Strategically, I like to do this after periods of more consumption, generally in the summer and over the winter holidays. That’s why I often take a sober October and January.
**Recognize Your Unique Relationship with Alcohol**
It’s important to recognize that everyone reacts to alcohol differently, and therefore, everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different. I’ve decided to keep alcohol in my life while keeping a close eye on it, being strategic, and also consistently learning how to bring joy into my life without it. This is relatively easy for me because I haven’t had much of a problem with overconsumption; I stay in control, maintain the same persona, and it hasn’t negatively impacted my personal relationships. If these are areas you struggle with, you may want to seek support to further assess how alcohol fits—or doesn’t fit—into your life. I hope the biggest takeaway is to look inside, answer honestly, and act accordingly. Cheers to cultivating a healthy relationship with alcohol, even if that means not having one at all!